


Unlikely Pair

by UnderOrange



Category: Pirates of the Caribbean (Movies), The Little Mermaid - All Media Types
Genre: Author Taking Liberties, Crack Pairing, F/M, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-01
Updated: 2010-04-01
Packaged: 2017-10-20 08:34:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/210820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnderOrange/pseuds/UnderOrange
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I started writing this story because some things are so ridiculous you just have to poke at them until you find out what happens. I have no beta, if you see mistakes or inconsistencies please point them out. I don't own any of the characters. In this story Ariel is not exactly as Disney depicts her.  I stole her name and that's about it. I'm not sure the original little mermaid had a name but if she did it probably wasn't Ariel.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Unlikely Pair

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this story because some things are so ridiculous you just have to poke at them until you find out what happens. I have no beta, if you see mistakes or inconsistencies please point them out. I don't own any of the characters. In this story Ariel is not exactly as Disney depicts her. I stole her name and that's about it. I'm not sure the original little mermaid had a name but if she did it probably wasn't Ariel.

They had found each other in the most unlikely of places. An island almost completely forgotten. Almost because occasionally rum runners would make their way through.  It made their coincidental meeting all the more surprising.

She had decided to use the island as a place to practice her spellwork. Particularly the spells that involved legs. She had never quite gotten over her stint as a human girl. In her free time when she wasn't being called on by ignorant children and selfish adults she would come to the island to practice a way to create legs that didn't make walking agony. She had just made a breakthrough and was doing an awkward unpracticed jig of celebration when she tripped right over him.

After she landed face first in the sand and sputtered in surprise she nearly choked when she saw what had tripped her new legs up. It was a man. An honest to goodness man. His hair was long and wild and she thought she saw some colorful beads peaking out from under his hat. His face was mostly hidden because he lay on his side with most of it mashed in the sand.  She peered in for a closer look. The smell of rum was so over powering she flopped back awkwardly.

Well, she thought to herself, that certainly explains why he hasn't woken up yet.

She recalled that humans had some sort of weird modesty for their lower appendages and decided to take advantage of her unexpected company's condition. After gathering the biggest leaves she could find and stringing them together to make a crude skirt with some rope she pilfered from his supplies she practiced walking, running, and dancing while he slept off the rum.

* * *

When Jack finally awoke from his rum-induced stupor it was to the sounds of music. Wordless singing like he had never heard before. It brought to mind the ocean and everything that drew him to it... beauty, danger, and wild freedom. He sat up and spat sand out of his mouth, trying to figure out if he was still asleep. Surely no rum runners he knew had such sultry voices.

The owner of the voice was not hard to find. She appeared to be engrossed in her song and dance. It was the most unorthodox dance Jack had ever seen, but he didn't mind so much because the dancer was quite beautiful.  It helped she wasn't wearing a whole hell of a lot.

He cleared his throat and the odd little dancer nearly toppled over in surprise. "Terribly sorry, m'dear. I don't believe I recognize that song..."

The dancer laughed, a tinkling little sound, and tip toed over to where he sat. She flopped down in front of him and gave him a very pretty smile indeed. He realized then that there was something very suspicious about this dancer. She was a petite thing, smaller than most of the women he was familiar with and certainly she appeared more delicate. Her hair looked as though it had been spun of copper and her eyes were a dark green that brought to mind sea weed in the ocean depths. But for her eyes, her features were just as petite as the rest of her. She wore decorative shells over her breasts and a skirt that appeared to be made from leaves and... was that tie line? She leaned towards him, completely oblivious to what it did for his viewing pleasures, and held out her hand.

Jack looked from her hand, to her face and back to her hand again (maybe stopping once or twice at her appealing bosom along the way) and finally took the small hand in his own. He kissed the back in what he figured was a gentlemanly fashion and she giggled with delight.

"I am Captain Jack Sparrow, m'dear. And you are?..." He smiled because she really was quite pretty.

The dancer grinned at his title and tilted her head to the side. "I am the Sea Witch Ariel, Captain Sparrow. It is quite a pleasure to make your acquaintance." She took her hand back and rested it on her thin little ankles, still tilted towards him as though he was the most interesting thing in the world.

"Sea Witch?" Warning bells started going off in his head. He'd heard tales of sea witches and the kind of trouble they could cause an honest sailor. He considered himself lucky then, that he was not an honest sailor at all. "My dear, how ever did such a charming young woman become a sea witch?"

She frowned then, for the first time, and he felt a twinge of regret for his question. She tried to smile again, but it wasn't quite as bright as before. "It is a long story, Captain. Would you really want to hear it?"

Jack glanced around him then and took in the surroundings he'd already had several days to get acquainted with. It was nearly night time and he was still quite stranded. It seemed as though time was really the only thing he had going for him at the moment. He settled himself back against a fallen log and gave her one of his most charming smiles, motioning for her to join him.

"Time, it seems, is the only thing I have to give at the moment and I would most gladly give it to you." She giggled again, a soft sound that he was surprised to find he quite liked.

"Well then, I suppose I will tell you."

* * *

"The kingdom below the waves is a prosperous one. It is ruled by a benevolent king and his six beautiful daughters."

"Wait wait, under the waves? You mean..." Jack motioned towards the vast sea that spread out from them and Ariel snorted her impatience.

"Yes, the kingdom in the ocean. Where merfolk dwell." He looked at her somewhat dubiously and she gave him a rather pointed look. "Now, do you want to hear my story or not?"

He shrugged and motioned for her to continue in a flamboyant sort of way.

"Ahem. As I was saying. The kingdom is ruled by a good king and his six daughters. However, there used to be a seventh daughter.  She is no longer spoken of because she had the audacity to fall in love with a mortal man from the world above." At the word 'love' the small woman smiled bitterly. Jack rose a brow but chose not to comment. Ariel continued on, pleased with the lack of interruption. "She was rumored to be the most beautiful of all the sisters and was famous throughout the seas for her singing."

"The man she fell in love with was a handsome and charming prince. She had been spying on his ship one evening because she had always been fascinated with the world above her own and had fallen completely in love with him at first sight. She knew she could not see him, though, because their two worlds were to remain separated by the will of her father, the king. He did not trust the land dwellers and was furious with his daughter for spying on them. He forbade her from seeing her prince again."

"Angry and hurt, the young princess swam to the Sea Witch of legend. A nasty piece of work that used her powers and spells for evil and her own twisted sense of humor. She delighted in the young girl's misery and made her a promise. She gave the girl legs to walk on land with but took her voice in payment. The girl agreed readily and only after the swap was made did the witch tell her she had but three days to get the prince to fall in love with her or she would perish on the morning of the fourth day."

"The princess was determined to succeed. When she arrived to the surface she discovered that walking was agony on her new limbs. Without her voice and ignoring the pain she was able to meet the prince and endear herself to him. He did not love her, though, at least... not how she had wanted. He was already betrothed to a human princess. An awkward little thing full of shy smiles and quiet speech. The little sea princess couldn't compete, her prince was entirely smitten."

"On her third and final night the prince wed his beloved on the most beautiful boat of his kingdom and the sea princess wept. Her sisters came to her that evening, while the prince and his new wife slept. They had each traded their beautiful hair in to the sea witch in order to save their sisters life. They gave her a dagger and said 'If you kill them now, you can join us in the sea once again!'.  With the dagger in hand the princess crept into the chamber of the man she thought she loved and saw him laying asleep with his new wife."

"She could not kill him. She still loved him and could not hate the girl he married. She cried out and ran from the room prepared to hurl the dagger as far away as she could. He had heard her, however, and stopped her. He demanded to know what was happening. The sea witch burst from the sea and laughed, grabbing the princess to pull her to her death in the ocean. Without thinking the heroic prince slayed the witch with the dagger meant for himself to protect his beloved... friend."

"The sea princess returned to her original form and regained her voice once the witch had died. She explained everything to the prince and he felt nothing but pity for her. Unable to bear his well meaning sympathy the princess fled back into the sea where she was met with six very angry sisters. They could not forgive her for her waste of their precious sacrifice and shunned her."

"With nowhere left to go the ex-princess returned to the lair of the sea witch and made it her own. She began to learn the craft of the evil hag and chose to use the power for good... or at least not evil. Sea folk come to her now with their petty grievances and she helps them when she can, even if helping them involves a little cruelty to make her lessons stick."

* * *

The woman smiled at Jack, then, and shrugged. He realized the story was over and quirked a brow. "That's quite the tale." She laughed as though he had made a joke.

He leaned back against the log and closed his eyes. Jack took stock of what he had... and it wasn't a whole hell of a lot. He had exactly one crazy woman, one gun with one bullet, and one hidden cellar with enough rum in it to drink himself blind. All things considered he seemed to have made it pretty well off for having just been victim to a mutiny.

His revelry was interrupted, "I don't suppose you could help me out?"

Without opening his eyes he asked, "Whatever do you need?"

"Well, the spells worn off, you see? During my story. I can't get back to the water like this very easily."

Jack opened his eyes to give her a look he reserved for the craziest bar wenches and was more than a little surprised to find that her legs had vanished to be replaced by a very large fin. From the waist down she appeared to have sprouted green shimmery scales. He began to seriously consider the quality of the rum he had been drinking earlier.

She giggled at his expression and gave him a saucy wink that in any other circumstances would have resulted in her skirt over her head. In this particular circumstance it involved him goggling quite stupidly until his rum addled mind meandered into the logical conclusion that he should probably do what she asked. She was still pretty cute, after all.

He stood up and with a gallant bow bent to pick her up. She was surprisingly heavy for her dainty size and what little part of his brain was still thinking logically concluded it was because her lower half was composed pretty much completely of muscle. In fact, not much on her scantily clad body hinted at even an ounce of fat. Despite her lack of some -very- important bits, he couldn't help but feel she was quite attractive. Even if she wasn't quite human.

He set her into the water and bowed farewell. "Will I see you again, dearest?"

She smiled and waved as she swam out to sea, calling over her shoulder "I'll come back tomorrow."

* * *

She kept her word and returned to the island the next day. It was not as quiet as it had been previously, however, and she had to sneak a bit to keep from being spotted from the rum runners who had stopped for their stash.

She watched the slightly unsteady Jack talking to them. As he swayed she realized she would probably never see him again and frowned. He had been good company, for all he was a drunk and a bit of a pervert. It had been nice not to be feared for once. Ariel lurked in wait to catch the captain alone.

She did not have to wait long because Jack had been scanning the water periodically in an attempt to find her. He had nearly decided she had been a figment of his own imagination when he spotted her copper hair, almost completely hidden amongst the rocks. She gave him a sad little wave. He extracted himself from the rum runner who had been talking to him and sauntered over to the mermaids hiding spot.

"Hello, luv."

She smiled and nodded towards the ship. "Leaving so soon?"

He nodded and shrugged, "I can come back, you know. I'm a captain."

Ariel tried not to smirk at his pride. "A captain needs a ship, doesn't he? This ship belongs to the rum runners."

Jack Sparrow frowned and knelt at the waters edge, "I have a ship. I will come back." With surprising speed and dexterity he grabbed her by the shoulders and planted a firm kiss against her sea salted lips.

The mermaids eyes widened and she smiled at him affectionately, "I'll visit this island, then. When the moon is full, until I see you again."

* * *

He did not return for a very long time. When he did finally come back he was not alone.

Ariel had kept her word and returned to the island every full moon. She usually practiced her spells and brushed up her walking skills. The grace she exhibited in the water was finally coming back to her on the land. She had also started collecting human things again. Clothing did not fair very well under the sea, but there were a few dresses she had managed to salvage before they disintegrated to nothing. Jewels and gems she had no shortage of, though some of the metal had tarnished quite badly.

She had cast her spell and donned a washed out green dress the night she found Jack and his companion. Ariel was quite proud of herself to keep her wits about her and keep her mouth shut while the two pranced around drinking rum until Jack dropped. The mermaid was sober and as a result was able to see the woman had not tasted a drop of liquor. Once Jack was down she decided to see what exactly was going on.

With the stealth of a predatory eel Ariel snuck behind the woman and practically purred into her ear. "What are you doing on my island, hm?" She was convinced the resulting shriek would have woken Jack up, but found that he was still completely out cold.

Ariel returned her attention to the mysterious woman only to find a ratty old gun pointed straight at her face. She recognized it as Jack's. "Who are you?" The woman demanded of her.

Ariel smiled and mock curtsied to the rather unladylike woman before her. "I am the Sea Witch Ariel, and you?"

The gun remand steadily pointed at her face as the woman replied. "Elizabeth Swan."

"And what are you doing on my island, Elizabeth Swan? More particularly, what are you doing here with Captain Jack Sparrow." She watched as Elizabeth's eyes widened in surprise and couldn't suppress a smile. It was a small thing, but Ariel was able to see everything she needed to know to determine her future actions in the blond woman's complete surprise.

Elizabeth watched her distrustfully. "What do you mean by Sea Witch?" She had vague memories of the sailors talking about Sea Witches and the trouble the could cause. The fact that Jack Sparrow was somehow connected to one of them brought her no surprise.

Ariel quirked a brow, "Its quite self explanatory, unless you'd like a visual display? I'm sure I've the ingredients to turn you into a guppy around here somewhere." She looked around her immediate surroundings as though she actually expected to find what she needed. Elizabeth waved the gun at her threateningly.

"Don't move, please. How can I trust you?"

"Who else could I be? Its not as though this is a vacation hot spot. Will you ever answer my question?"

Elizabeth's lip twitched, she did not lower the gun but decided it wouldn't hurt to be honest, "We were marooned here."

Ariel tilted her head to the side, nodding in the slumbering captains direction, "Did he find his ship, then? And lost it, already. Hopeless, isn't he?" She didn't bother to repress a fond grin.

Elizabeth couldn't help but laugh, the gun lowered a notch and she seemed to relax a bit, "He is, isn't he? You know he tried to seduce me?" Ariel nodded, she had watched it after all.

"You should have seen his him on his first visit here, he couldn't keep his eyes off of me." Elizabeth laughed and appeared to soften before the eyes of the Sea Witch.

It was then that Elizabeth took a great leap of faith, "Would you... would you help me? I plan to get us off this island and..."

When Ariel heard her plan it was some time before she could stopped laughing. Elizabeth completely dropped the pretense of threatening her with the gun and rather sheepishly deposited it next to the still slumbering captain. She and Ariel worked together to pile the rum into one great heap and Elizabeth even gave her the honor of starting the fire.

They sat by the enormous blaze on the beach and chatted some. Ariel learned all about Elizabeth's adventures thus far and she gleaned quite a bit about Jack Sparrow in the process. When Elizabeth asked her why she continued to wait for him Ariel just smiled and responded, "He said he would come back. With his ship, I might add. I suppose today was just not that day."

"He's terrible, you know. He sleeps with every woman that will let him."

"Is that so?"

"Are you really going to wait for him?"

"Of course."

"But why? He hasn't even been loyal to you!"

"He said he would come back."

Elizabeth looked at her as though she had grown a second head. Ariel just smiled enigmatically.

* * *

When Jack Sparrow returned to Ariel a second time he was laden with three gorgeous dresses, one untarnished tiara filled with precious gems, four rings, and a coat that appeared to have been made out of something soft and furry. She was delighted with the presents. So delighted she even showed him the embarrassing little shack she had created to try and keep the weathering of her salvaged artifacts to a minimum.

He meandered through the pathetic building in a tottering way that made her feel a little better about her own occasionally unsteady footwork. The captain touched nearly everything she had collected while she hovered nervously in the corner. She thought she caught a wistful little smile but determined she was making things up.

When he had finished he ordered a trunk placed in the cabin. It was much better at keeping out the elements and she gave the furry coat the space of honor within it. The captain then ordered his crew back onto the ship, an order which they very grudgingly complied. After chasing away a few stragglers they spent the rest of the visit alone. Each had their own adventures to talk about, and when words failed them they found other ways to entertain themselves.

Several days later he left the little island with yet another promise to return.

The next full moon the captain returned with even more treasures in tow. He also brought with him some rather burly looking men and a good deal of lumber. The building they created (in quite an astonishing amount of time) was placed carefully next to her terrible little shack. She moved some of the more delicate things into it immediately, but left the more rugged trinkets in the building she had put so much time into creating.

Again they spent their nights enjoying each others company. Each surprised with how much they had to say to the other, when only a month had passed. She teased him mercilessly of his failed attempts at romancing other women and he threatened to tie her to his mast as decoration. They bantered and bickered and loved.

A few days later he left once again. She was not sad to see him go because she had his promise to return held close to her heart.

* * *

Years passed by in this vein. Every month they would meet, sometimes for only a night, sometimes the time would stretch into weeks before the Captain would leave her little island once again. The mermaids collection of trinkets threatened to overflow the beautiful house he had built for her and so he merely had another placed at its side. The little shack had long since fallen and the contents moved into the much sturdier buildings.

One month Ariel found herself drawn to the island, despite the fact that the full moon was still days away. She wasn't particularly surprised to see an unfamiliar ship docked on its banks. She exited the water straight into the privacy of the second house Jack had built. He had made sure there was an inlet so she could change into the multitudes of human fashions he provided her before stepping out into the open for his lecherous crew to see her.

When she was done changing into a maroon dress that clashed magnificently with her copper tresses and showed her ample cleavage off to its fullest there was a polite rapping on her front door.

She opened door to find an aged and rather dazed looking Elizabeth Swan. Ariel smiled and invited the Queen of the Pirates into her home away from home.

The two women chattered away as though it had merely been a day or two since they had conspired against the rum and Captain Jack Sparrow to get Elizabeth saved. They laughed and swapped stories, Elizabeth was as fascinated with the mermaids life under the waves as Ariel was with the lives above them. Eventually, inevitably, the conversation meandered its way towards the Captain.

"He's still a pervert, you know. Just last week we were both in port and he tried to convince me to leave 'the eunic'." Her lip twisted at Jack's obnoxious nickname for her husband.

Ariel giggled and tilted her head to the side as she responded, "Yes, but he comes back to me."

Elizabeth blinked and quirked a brow, trying to think of a tactful way to say what she wanted to. She could think of none, "He's using you, he knows you'll always be here. That isn't love, its convenience!"

Ariel laughed; a tinkling little laugh that was surprising in its honest amusement, "Elizabeth Swan, you don't understand. He always comes back to me. That's all I ever wanted. All I needed. He comes back with toys, trinkets, baubles and dresses, but he wouldn't need to, not really. The only thing that matters is that he always comes back."

She smiled then, the toothy feral smile of an over sized shark, "If anything else had mattered, you would never have left this island so long ago."


End file.
